So Finished, It's Folded

>> Monday, April 6, 2015

Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus’ head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself.  John 20:6—7
At first glance, it seems a funny detail to put into the resurrection account, that face cloth, folded up. But thinking about it, it really is a very good detail, and if I don't sound too irreverent saying so, gives us a glimpse into the supremacy of God's humor. Maybe humor isn't the right word? But something akin to it. When Jesus spoke the words, "It is finished," upon the cross, he drove the point home not only by raising from the dead, but going so far as to fold up that face cloth, the shroud that hid the exact representation of God, as if to tidy up every last loose end of salvation, and proclaim, "So there."

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Lucky Lu Ellen: A Poem

>> Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Lucky Lu Ellen

Lucky Lu Ellen had a bowl full of money.
She lost it all on a race horse named Honey.
Honey was the name they called her in school
'Cause she said her life's goal was to eat some in a pool.
Lucky Lu Ellen didn't know how to swim
So she stayed by the poolside hoping to get in,
Until one day a pesky, mean bee
Came and stuck Lu Ellen right on the knee.
That knee did swell and she winked for the pain,
But that wink hit a boy—he wasn't the same.

March 14, 2007

 

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Myth Became Fact

>> Friday, October 4, 2013

This essay is from a collection of C. S. Lewis essays and letters found in the book "God in the Dock".


Myth Became Fact
C. S. Lewis

My friend Corineus has advanced the charge that none of us are in fact Christins at all. According to him historic Christianity is something so barbarous that no modern man can really believe it: the moderns who claim to do so are in fact believing a modern system of thought which retains the vocabulary of Christianity and exploits the emotions inherited from it while quietly dropping its essential doctrines. Corineus compared modern Christianity with the modern English monarchy: the forms of kingship have been retained, but the reality has been abandoned.

All this I believe to be false, except of a few ‘modernist’ theologians who, by God’s grace, become fewer every day. But for the moment let us assume that Corineus is right. Let us pretend, for purposes of argument, that all who now call themselves Christians have abandoned the historic doctrines. Let us suppose that modern ‘Christianity’ reveals a system of names, ritual, formulae and metaphors which persists although the thoughts behind it have changed. Corineus ought to be able to explain the persistence.

Why, on his view, do all these educated and enlightened pseudo-Christians insist on expressing their deepest thoughts in terms of an archaic mythology which must hamper and embarrass them at every turn? Why do they refuse to cut the umbilical cord which binds the living and flourishing child to its moribund mother? For, if Corineus is right, it should be a great relief to them to do so. Yet the odd thing is that even those who seem most embarrassed by the sediment of ‘barbaric’ Christianity in their thought become suddenly obstinate when you ask them to get rid of it altogether. They will strain the cord almost to breaking point, but they refuse to cut it. Sometimes they will take every step except the last one.

If all who professed Christianity were clergymen, it would be easy (though uncharitable) to reply that their livelihood depends on not taking that last step. Yet even if this were the true cause of their behaviour, even if all the clergymen are intellectual prostitutes who preach for pay—and usually starvation pay—what they secretly believe to be false, surely so widespread a darkening of the conscience among thousands of men not otherwise known to be criminal, itself demands explanation? And of course the profession of Christianity is not confined to the clergy. It is professed by millions of women and laymen who earn thereby contempt, unpopularity, suspicion, and the hostility of their own families. How does that come to happen?

Obstinacies of this sort are interesting. ‘Why not cut the cord?’ asks Corineus. ‘Everything would be much easier if you would free your thought from this vestigial mythology.’ To be sure: far easier. Life would be far easier for the mother of an invalid child if she put it into an Institution and adopted someone’s healthy baby instead. Life would be far easier to many a man if he abandoned the woman he has actually fallen in love with and married someone else because she is more suitable. The only defect of a healthy baby and the suitable woman is that they leave out the patient’s only reason for bothering about a child or wife at all. ‘Would not conversation be much more rational than dancing?’ said Jane Austen’s Miss Bingley. ‘Much more rational,’ replied Mr Bingley, ‘but much less like a ball.’1

In the same way, it would be much more rational to abolish the English monarchy. But how if, by doing so, you leave out the one element in our State which matters most? How if the monarchy is the channel through which all the vital elements of citizenship—loyalty, the consecration of secular life, the hierarchical principle, splendour, ceremony, continuity—still trickle down to irrigate the dust-bowl of modern economic Statecraft?

The real answer of even the most ‘modernist Christianity to Corineus is the same. Even assuming (which I most constantly deny) that the doctrines of historic Christianity are merely mythical, it is the myth which is the vital and nourishing element in the whole concern. Corineus wants us to move with the times. Now, we know where the times move. They move away. But in religion we find something that does not move away. It is what Corineus calls the myth, that abides; it is what he calls the modern and living thought that moves away. Not only the thought of theologians, but the thought of anti-theologians. Where are the predecessors of Corineus? Where is the Epicureanism of Lucretius,2 the pagan revival of Julian the Apostate?3 Where are the Gnostics, where is the monism of Averoës,4 the deism of Voltaire, the dogmatic materialism of the great Victorians? They have moved with the times. But the thing they were all attacking remains: Corineus finds it still there to attack. The myth (to speak his language) has outlived the thoughts of all its defenders and of all its adversaries. It is the myth that gives life. Those elements even in modernist Christianity which Corineus regards as vestigial, are the substance: what he takes for the ‘real modern belief’ is the shadow.

To explain this we must look a little closer at myth in general, and at this myth in particular. Human intellect is incurably abstract. Pure mathematics is the type of successful thought. Yet the only realities we experience are concrete—this pain, this pleasure, this dog, this man. While we are loving the man, bearing the pain, enjoying the pleasure we are not intellectually apprehending Pleasure, Pain or Personality. When we begin to do so, on the other hand, the concrete realities sink to the level of mere instances or examples: we are no longer dealing with them, but with that which they exemplify. This is our dilemma—either to taste and not to know or to know and not to taste—or, more strictly, to lack one kind of knowledge because we are in an experience or to lack another kind because we are outside it. As thinkers we are cut off from what we think about; tasting, touching, willing, loving, hating, we do not clearly understand. The more lucidly we think, the more we are cut off: the more deeply we enter into reality, the less we can think. You cannot study Pleasure in the moment of the nuptial embrace, nor repentance while repenting, nor analyse the nature of humour while roaring with laughter. But when else can you really know these things? ‘If only my toothache would stop, I could write another chapter on Pain.’ But once it stops, what do I know about pain?

Of this tragic dilemma, myth is the partial solution. In the enjoyment of a great myth, we come nearest to experiencing as a concrete what can otherwise be understood only as an abstraction. At this moment, for example, I am trying to understand something very abstract indeed—the fading, vanishing of tasted reality as we try to grasp it with the discursive reason. Probably I have made heavy weather of it. But if I remind you, instead of Orpheus and Eurydice, how he was suffered to lead her by the hand but, when he turned round to look at her, she disappeared, what was merely a principle becomes imaginable. You may reply that you never at this moment attached that ‘meaning’ to that myth. Of course not. You are not looking for an abstract ‘meaning’ at all. If that was what you were doing the myth would be for you no true myth but a mere allegory. You were not knowing, but tasting; but what you were tasting turns out to be a universal principle. The moment we state this principle, we are admittedly back in the world of abstraction. It is only while receiving the myth as a story that you experience the principle concretely.

When we translate we get abstraction—or rather, dozens of abstractions. What flows into you from the myth is not truth but reality (truth is always about something, but reality is that about which truth is), and, therefore, every myth becomes the father of innumerable truths on the abstract level. Myth is the mountain whence all the different streams arise which become truths down here in the valley; in hac valle abstractionis.5 Or, if you prefer, myth is the isthmus which connects the peninsular world of thought with that vast continent we really belong to. It is not, like truth, abstract; nor is it, like direct experience, bound to the particular.

Now as myth transcends thought, Incarnation transcends myth. The heart of Christianity is a myth which is also a fact. The old myth of the Dying God, without ceasing to be myth, comes down from the heaven of legend and imagination to the earth of history. It happens—at a particular date, in a particular place, followed by definable historical consequences. We pass from a Balder or an Osiris, dying nobody knows when or where, to a historical Person crucified (it is all in order) under Pontius Pilate. By becoming fact it does not cease to be myth: that is the miracle. I suspect that men have sometimes derived more spiritual sustenance from myths they did not believe that from the religion they professed. To be truly Christian we must both assent to the historical fact and also receive the myth (fact though it has become) with the same imaginative embrace we accord to all myths. The one is hardly more necessary than the other.

A man who disbelieved the Christian story as fact but continually fed on it as myth would, perhaps, be more spiritually alive than one who assented and did not think much about it. The modernist—the extreme modernist, infidel in all but name—need not be called a fool or hypocrite because he obstinately retains, even in the midst of his intellectual atheism, the language, rites, sacraments, and story of the Christians. The poor man may be clinging (with wisdom he himself by no means understands) to that which is his life. It would have been better that Loisy6 should have remained a Christian: it would not necessarily have been better that he should have purged his thought of vestigial Christianity.

Those who do not know that this great myth became fact when the Virgin conceived are, indeed, to be pitied. But Christians also need to be reminded—we may thank Corineus for reminding us—that what became Fact was a Myth, that it carries with it into the world of Fact all the properties of a myth. God is more than a god, not less; Christ is more than a Balder, not less. We must not be ashamed of the mythical radiance resting on our theology. We must not be nervous about ‘parallels’ and ‘Pagan Christs’: they ought to be there—it would be a stumbling block if they weren’t. We must not, in false spirituality, withhold our imaginative welcome. If God chooses to be mythopoeic—and is not the sky itself a myth—shall we refuse to be mythopathic? For this is the marriage of heaven and earth: Perfect Myth and Perfect Fact: claiming not only our love and our obedience, but also our wonder and delight, addressed to the savage, the child, and the poet in each one of us no less than to the moralist, the scholar, and the philosopher.



1 Pride and Prejudice, ch. xi.
2 Titus Lucretius Carus (c. 99-55), the Roman poet.
3 Roman emperor, A.D. 361-3
4 Averroës (1126-98), of Cordova, believed that only one intellect exists for the whole human race in which every individual participates, to the exclusion of personal immortality.
5 ‘In this valley of separation.’
6 Alfred Loisy (1857-1940), a French theologian and founder of the Modernist Movement.

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On Happiness, Marriage, and Drinking Wine

>> Friday, March 29, 2013


Recently, I have come to recognize a glaring fault in the first sentence of America's Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

The glaring fault being "the pursuit of Happiness". "Happiness", at the time it was written, probably refers to something quite different than nowadays. I'm sure the founding fathers meant well when they made such sweeping and lofty sentiments, but I don't think they bargained on the cushy American Dream we'd be so voraciously pursuing, even at the cost of other peoples' "happiness." I am a Christian. There is a rumor going around that America was founded on Judeo-Christian values, but I've never seen happiness promised in the Bible. I've seen the promise that we will suffer hardship as a result of our faith, as well as the promise of joy and peace as a result of trusting Christ in the midst of that hardship. And such joy is quite different than the visions of happiness most Americans cling to as an unalienable right. But with all this yimmer yammer about marriage rights, I wanted to share with you a quote by C. S. Lewis worth considering:

"Before leaving the question of divorce, I should like to distinguish two things which are very often confused. The Christian conception of marriage is one: the other is the quite different question-how far Christians, if they are voters or Members of Parliament, ought to try to force their views of marriage on the rest of the community by embodying them in the divorce laws. A great many people seem to think that if you are a Christian yourself you should try to make divorce difficult for every one. I do not think that. At least I know I should be very angry if the Mahommedans tried to prevent the rest of us from drinking wine. My own view is that the Churches should frankly recognise that the majority of the British people are not Christians and, therefore, cannot be expected to live Christian lives. There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not."

I believe that homosexuality is wrong and should not be condoned by the Church through marriage. But the State is not a Christian entity. Should I expect the State to enforce my morality, yet balk if they enforce someone else's on me? It is a slippery question because while, at first glance, I would say "no, they should not enforce morality, because they are not a moral entity." Yet, I would also say "yes, they should, as far as they protect society from man's passions like murder, stealing, etc., and the State, by necessity, must take on a moral standard of some sort in order to ensure my bodily safety."

I would love to rail on the State. I mean, just look at how they tax me. They are so easy to pick on because they are so secular. But, my concern is not the State--not in the long run, anyway. Where my concern lies is with my family--the Church. And because they're my family, I feel I can rightfully blow the whistle on them and still be loved by them at the end of the day. And I think I can humbly say that we have dropped the ball in many ways, and so things that should be championed by the Church (marriage, family, education; the care of the poor, the helpless, the environment, the arts, science, etc.) have been ever so slightly...dumped on the State. And, as C. S. Lewis is implying, it's not as though the State shouldn't provide marriage for its people. I believe marriage was instituted by God to be enjoyed by all people, not just those who believe in Him. But I also believe He called His Church to exemplify marriage (see above statement about dropping the ball).
With that said, the State not only has to manage its primary role of keeping peace, but has to do double duty by providing some semblance of ethics on those issues its own people should be working out for themselves. So now, instead of doing a few things somewhat well, the State does many things somewhat poorly. Is it any wonder that people are so passionate about its rulings when we have attributed to it God-sized authority?

Advocates for the Church's morality in the public sector will always be at odds with some aspect of the State's rulings on morality, especially when that State declares "happiness"(whatever that means) as a right. But the Church can take C. S. Lewis' words as a personal challenge: to make the distinction of State marriage and Church marriage "quite sharp". And to do that, the Church must hunker down and do what it was called to do in the first place.  We are quite the distractable bunch, which is why I think Jesus gave us a simple to-do list: 

1. Make disciples of all nations.
2. Baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
(Note: You can even bunch it into one line item if you have trouble remembering two)
 
And consider it a bonus when the government under which we live promotes a peaceful environment in which to do that.

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:14-21

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Friday a la Francais: Monday, June 9, 2003

>> Tuesday, March 26, 2013

(I know, it's only Tuesday, but it's my party and I'll break the rules if I want to)



This evening Christina helped me with my French homework. I had to decipher between country and peoples' nationalities. I think she had fun helping me. We often sit around the T.V. at night. She likes to watch artsy films. They're rather bizarre, but I guess she's into them. Jean-Yves likes to watch the nature channel. Today was also a religious holiday, though I don't recall the name. It was interesting to see everyone out and about, hanging out with their friends and family. As I walked along side a grassy area by the port I saw a family having a nice picnic and just enjoying each others' company. I can't remember the last time I saw that. Sometimes it is hard to grasp this culture; not being able to see into the tiny cracks and crevices of the cumulative history of these people to make them what they are today. Part of me feels like this is who and where I am meant to be, living the way these people live, simplifying life. And yet another part of me is the go-get-em business woman who pushes herself to the limit to get what she wants. I have to remember that wherever I am, that I have brought God along with me. Who I really am is determined by Him.

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...And I'm Undone

>> Monday, February 18, 2013

 "We must not, in false spirituality, withhold our imaginative welcome. If God chooses to be mythopoeic—and is not the sky itself a myth—shall we refuse to be mythopathic? For this is the marriage of heaven and earth: Perfect Myth and Perfect Fact: claiming not only our love and our obedience, but also our wonder and delight, addressed to the savage, the child, and the poet in each one of us no less than to the moralist, the scholar, and the philosopher."

--C. S. Lewis, God in the Dock



 

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Butter Rum Cake Recipe. It's here.

>> Friday, December 7, 2012



I've been debating whether or not I should disperse this recipe into the universe because #1 it's not my original recipe, and #2 I had to beg, plead, blackmail, enforce silent treatment, do an interpretive dance, juggle firey batons, and eventually, exhaustedly... politely ask for it. And I've been hording it in my little Better Homes & Gardens recipe box for years, just as I'm sure the person I got it from has been doing before me. But I've come to the conclusion that a great recipe isn't great if it isn't shared. So this is my early Christmas gift to you. Make, bake, eat, and let that cake work its warm, happy magic on you.


Butter Rum Cake

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Bake Time: 1 hour
Serves 12


Topping Ingredients

1 ½ C Chopped Pecans or Walnuts

Batter Ingredients

1 Duncan Hines Yellow Cake Mix
1 Small package (1 oz) French vanilla or
 chocolate instant pudding
4 eggs
½ C Cold water
½ C Oil
½ C Myers’s Dark Rum

Glaze Ingredients
1 Stick Butter (½ C)
1 C Sugar
¼ C Water
½ C Myers’s Dark Rum


Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325˚F.

2. Sprinkle nuts evenly over bottom of greased and floured funnel/angel food cake pan or bundt pan.

3. Combine batter ingredients and mix on medium-high 5 minutes. Pour batter into pan, bake 1 hour. Test with skewer until it comes out clean.
4. Place on wire rack 5 minutes while cake is still in the pan. Then turn out on plate and let cool slightly. Poke a lot of holes with skewer all the way through from top to bottom to allow glaze to soak through.

Glaze:
While cake is baking, prepare glaze so it will only be warm when applied. Melt 1 stick of butter in saucepan. Add the water and sugar. Bring to boil for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat and cool. Add ½ C rum. Dribble evenly over cake at intervals so it all soaks in.

Enjoy!

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An Open Letter to Baz Luhrmann

>> Tuesday, December 4, 2012



“Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 

"Was there anything sane or normal at all, or was everything just magic and ghost stories?"―Stephanie Meyer, New Moon


Dear Mr. Baz,

I regret to say that I am not your biggest fan. I wish I could claim that title but, the truth is, I'm a fairly mediocre fan. I only own one of your movies (Moulin Rouge!) which I bought almost purely for its eye candy factor back before I cared about who actually made the movie or why. Even though I considered the movie my standing favorite, I didn't really like the ending when I first saw it, and I even forgot to take it with me when I moved out of my parents' house five years ago. I haven't seen Romeo+Juliet since my last babysitting gig in 1999 (and there's a good possibility I wasn't hired back because of the fact). I haven't even seen Australia, and I've only read a smattering of your quotes and interviews. (And I'm not Catholic, but I'm pretty sure this is what the confession box feels like.)

Wait. Don't go. This really is fan mail.

All that to say that I recently saw Strictly Ballroom on a whim and a half-remembered recommendation while perusing Netflix, and now sheepishly admit to abusing my subscription from watching it so many times. I fully intend to pony up and buy the DVD. And I exhorted my parents to return my Moulin Rouge!, which I got back promptly.

Let me just say thank you. Thank you for what you are trying to accomplish through the media of film. You'll never fully realize your vision, mind you, but you've gone further than the rest, and I'm glad for it.

Now, I know I'm being incredibly presumptuous in saying that, and run the risk of being just another boorish member of the peanut gallery, but I'll say it anyway, because I think I'm on to you. I think I know what you're trying to convey (at least in your Red Curtain Trilogy). With all the eccentric, vibrant, brassy, and beautiful elements you utilize to produce that heightened sense of reality in your films, it seems to me that you're trying to create something that's larger than life, because you know that the essence of life is larger than life. But, at the end of the day, something that is made from something is way less impressive than something that is made from nothing. And as the glories of Heaven and Earth were made out of nothing, your films are going to have to settle there in the backseat. But really, that's not a bad place to be when you look at it that way.

What I did read about you was that you said you were tired of making boy-meets-girl movies and wanted to move on to bigger projects, but can I just say that you are so good at making good old love stories? And if one compliment from yours truly isn't enough to turn your cinematic boat around, may I also suggest that the Love Story is so epically huge, not in a box office sort of way, but in its very nature; that you'll never be able to tap the depths of its source, therefore supplying an endless, happy spring of creativity? And along the lines of what C. S. Lewis said, however you slice and dice your movies, when you tell the truth, you'll most likely be completely brilliant. Which you are.

Thank you for these little jewels of cinematic joy that you've created. They put a spring in my step and a smile on my face when I think about them. Thank you for the slogan on your Bazmark Inq coat-of-arms. Most of all, thank you for telling the truth...whilst utilizing unholy amounts of sequins, feathers and inappropriate burstings-out of song and dance.

God bless you!
~Sarah Vaughan

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear..."
―1 John 4:18

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Giveaway!

>> Saturday, November 24, 2012

Slither Bowl No.1


"LIKE" Celeste Lewis Pottery on Facebook and be entered to win "Slither Bowl No.1"!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Celeste-Lewis-Pottery/197446146969917

Enter by 10pm PST, Thursday, November 29, 2012. Winner will be announced Friday, November 30, 10am PST!

That's it--so easy! Good luck!

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Won't You Be My Neighbor?

>> Tuesday, November 20, 2012

photomatt7.wordpress.com


I've said it once (or twice) and I'll say it again:

Facebook is weird.

Blogging is weird. The internet is very weird and borderline magical. Over the past few years I've been pondering to lesser and greater degrees (depending on what size headache I would prefer) the social implications and dynamics of the world wide web, specifically as it manifests itself through Facebook and other cyber venues of the like. But I think it comes down to being just a sign of the times. Not crazy Armageddon times, just the social evolution of humanity.

Ok, that still sounds pretty serious. And maybe it is. Just think of how infinitely smaller our world has become over the past fifteen years, even. 15--That's nothing! My three-year-old can count to 15. We rub elbows with friends and strangers half way around the world on a daily basis, but most of the time we're so desensitized to the miracle of it that we don't even bat an eye (which is probably a good thing--wouldn't want worldwide fainting spells and apoplectic fits happening. Think of the traffic jams that would cause...).

And while it would seem that our now-miniscule world would virtually eliminate man's disease of loneliness, it's widespread now more than ever; and not even I, the first to question the lasting benefits of social media, am immune.

I'm sucked in, too. Neo took the red pill, and I took the leftover blue one. Well, maybe I nibbled on the corner of it, just enough to keep me updating my Facebook status. And writing this blog. But not enough to Tweet. I used to Tweet, but when I did, my kids would poke and prod me with sticks to make sure I hadn't stopped breathing, or at least that I was intaking more oxygen than was needed to operate my index finger for scrolling. But I digress.

I hop on Facebook and see peoples' life stories unfolding before my very eyes, their daily struggles, accomplishments, frustrations, and what they ate for dinner. Really. I hardly remember what I had for dinner, but I know it wasn't good enough to take a picture of and brag about to my 252 friends. Unless it was our anniversary dinner. I did post that bad boy. I still remember the gazpacho. But I digress. Again. Because that's what navigating the internet conditions our minds to do, reconnecting those neurons just so that our cognitive processes can cope with the insane amount of information we subject ourselves to in front of that cool, inviting glow of the computer screen. But that's a whole other blog.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Loneliness. Now, one could easily enough diagnose the disease and simply prescribe the antidote:

Hang out with real people that you know and like, in front of their faces, a lot.

But I think to simply dismiss the epidemic with a wave of the hand would be to miss an opportunity to gain understanding of who we are as human beings.

We are social creatures. It's in our spiritual and physical DNA. We're designed to commune; to know and to be known. And even though we know more now than ever (e.g. omniscience of what the online community had for dinner), I think the lack of being known plays a key part in our seclusion. Because while technology has made information insanely more accessible, it has given us the excuse to drastically decrease the amount of face-time interaction. Even a good old fashioned phone call has been reduced to a text message or email; and, heck, a good old fashioned email is being reduced to not even bothering with it, because everyone knows everything about everybody on the social network, anyway.

I said that I wasn't immune to this phenomenon. It's a mind-boggling thing to be a stay-at-home mom with two energetic toddlers and a work-from-home husband, attend church on a bi-weekly basis, go to a Mothers of Preschoolers meeting once a week, throw in the occasional children's play-date, have friends over on a fairly regular basis, and yet still feel that keen sense of longing for more substantial communion at any given point in the day. Only after about three and a half years of what I'll call this "season" of loneliness on various levels and degrees, I am only now starting to see a glimmer of hope, in part due to changes in circumstances, but mostly, I think, because of what God is teaching me.

For those who really know me (which might be two or three?), they would assume that I'm usually--if not almost always--looking to see how God is working in my life, because He's promised that He uses all things to work good in his children (I think He takes special pleasure in using the bad just to sock it to the Devil, but that's only a theory). In fact, my spiritual antennae is up so high, I can watch the movie Strictly Ballroom and find just as many points of theology in it as I would reading C. S. Lewis's Mere Christianity. But, up until recently, I couldn't for the life of me see where God was going with this solitude thing.

No, that's not really true.

Thinking about it just now, I remember a while back musing to one of those two or three people that God was probably using this time to teach me how to rely on Him to fulfill that relational want. I just didn't like it. Which is probably why this season has stretched into years instead of only months. I am the nicest, kindest, most stubborn person I know, after all.

But I think I'm finally getting it. While I have been wasting spending time on Facebook to catch up on friends (on, mind you, not with), I've really only been distracting myself and putting off investing in the most important relationship of my life: with the One who made me, for goodness' sake. Why? Because relationships take work and I'm lazy. Relationships are hard, especially with those you can't see or touch or hear. Like God, for instance.

But the nice thing about God is that He loves perfectly and pursues us relentlessly.

The voice of my beloved!
Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
bounding over the hills.

Song of Solomon 2:8 

In all my live-long Christian life, I've never been much for reading the Song of Solomon, but recently it's dawned on me. There is God, leaping over every new social technological advancement and bounding over every distraction to reach us.

Behold, there he stands
behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
looking through the lattice.
My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away..."

Song of Solomon 2:9b-10

If you read that passage carefully, you'll notice the beloved had to call out to her to get her to wake up. Yep, that's me. Asleep. Counting sheep as I scroll and scroll and scroll.

Are you getting it?


I don't think I'm the only one with this problem of prioritizing relationships, especially regarding the one that matters most...but God knows. He knows each of us to our status-update-loving core. God will go so far to be first in our lives that He will let us feel alone in this tiny, elbow-rubbing, interconnected world; and not only that, but even to allow us to feel a shadow of want for deeper connection among our most cherished real-life relationships; all to draw us into that red-pill, deeper-than-marriage, wider-than-friendships, larger-than-life relationship with Himself.

So, neighbor, does this mean I'm going to ditch my Facebook account or stop blogging? Nah, I still have to tell you about the shenanigans my children pull when I'm away in the bathroom. But it is a wake-up call to spend my time wisely as to who I will seek to know best, and realizing who has been seeking out me more than all the internet search fields combined.

Mmm...red pill.



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I'm not really political...

>> Sunday, September 2, 2012

But if I were, I'd be posting stuff like this on Facebook all the time.


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>> Monday, September 19, 2011


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Humor Your Kid

>> Tuesday, September 6, 2011

wikimedia.org


It finally happened.

I found a black widow spider in the house.

Mere inches from a daily-used toy box in the living room.

! ! ! ! ! ! !

For all the widow infestations we've been having outside during the summers since we've lived here, I've always been looking out for telltale signs of that spider breed's existence in the house. But I must have thought we had been keeping them out alright since I hadn't spotted any. Up until this point, that is.

This morning, Caden was jumping happily in his jumper and Gwen was looking for toys to play with in the living room. Ah, now was my chance to finally get my breakfast and coffee and get my day started.

"Pchzz ... Pchzz ... Pchzz ..." Went Gwen, in what I couldn't tell was a request for cheese or a "please" asking me for something else. Now, Gwen? But my coffee is done brewing! She kept Pchzz-ing, so I figured I would delay my caffeine intake to see what she wanted. She was asking nicely, after all, so I ought to at least humor her and help her with what was likely a toy request.

She led me to the bookshelf right next to the toy box and pointed vaguely and kept pchzz-ing. "Cheese?" I asked her, wondering if she had thrown her plastic toy cheese into the back of the bookshelf, when I then saw the dastardly spider hanging out in his well-established not-so-little web in the enclave of the bookshelf, stereo and wall. I simultaneously swore and thanked God at the same time (is that possible?) ushered Gwen to her high chair without trying to let her to pick up on my slight panic, and went back with a can of bug spray and a fly swatter to make history.

The moral of the story is this: humor your kid. Engage with them even if it means putting off your cuppa for another minute. It may only be a matter of plastic cheese, or of practicing non-specific pleases; but it could be a heaven-sent appointment to bring to your attention a danger in your home to deal with.

The other moral of the story is this: If you live in an area where bad bugs live, grab a flashlight and go hunting in your home on a regular basis to keep you and your family safe.

Thus concludes this public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Since the above...
And I would like to add that because of this morning's discovery, I went hunting and found more webs and 3 black widows in my kitchen. Have you peeked under the edges of your kitchen cabinets lately?

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Ding-Dong!

>> Thursday, July 21, 2011


For all you family out there, more is to come...enjoy!

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Monday, Monday

>> Monday, June 13, 2011

What's up with Mondays? It's like the day that auditioned to be part of the weekend but didn't make the cut, so it got booted to waiting tables at the first day of the McWork Week. I'm finding a trend with Mondays. For as detailed or generalized as I plan my Monday, the plans never happen. Take today--please. 'Cause it's Monday. But really, take today. I planned to get all the laundry washed and folded. That's it. I even wrote it down on a pad of paper with a portrait of the Schlossers on it. They sell real estate. I drew a pointy mustache and goatee on Mrs. Schlosser. But I digress. I washed one, maybe two, dishes, but only because I had to use them. I didn't even go outside. Not even a foot out of the door. The entirety of my day was spent corralling, soothing, juggling, containing, and not flipping out over my two-year-old and her two-ness, and my four-month-old and his--what I am sure is his bowel-function-related--inconsolable-ness. I just put him to bed 10 minutes ago. I wiped up chicken juice off of the counter 5 minutes ago, because I've really been that occupied for the past 6 hours. Actually, I did play about 20 minutes of Dominion with Aaron around 8pm, because when he asked if I wanted to play it, I lamented how I didn't get anything done today, so he told me to forget about the housework and spend time with him instead. So I did.

So what was good about today, other than 20 minutes of spending time with Aaron? I got my computer back from the doctor's today. It had a near-death experience. Again. I did not lose my antiquated version of Photoshop, which I desperately need. I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans for the first time and was able to button it and not hinder my mobility or nettle the laws of physics. I also ate approximately 15 chocolate covered almonds. This may turn out to be a dark, bloated rain cloud on my jean felicity come morning, but they did taste good.

So, Monday, I bid you farewell. Your hour is almost up. Like hornets, I'm not exactly sure why God created you, but there you are. Perhaps one day we will learn to get along, but for now, I will appreciate you as the day that makes me appreciate all the more the other six days of the week.

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The Great Experiment, In Progress

>> Sunday, April 17, 2011

Part of what I've learned so far in this personal experiment I've been conducting on my priorities is that balance is an art to be finessed and refined. And so I've been contemplating the balance of rest on the Sabbath and productivity during the week; work during the day and winding down at night, when to do the dishes, and when to let the dishes do themselves (no, wait--that's my dream fantasy). And on this Sunday evening as I ponder the things I have learned over the past week or so, and how to muse about it here, I also notice that my eyelids are heavy from a day of robust worship, sadness from loss, joy in fellowship, mothering my children--and no blessed Sunday afternoon nap. Heck, the blog can come when I'm feeling spendy with the hours my house is asleep, but tonight Slumber is tipping the scales over Dear-Diary-ing. Until then (and then will probably involve a large cup of Pike's Place...)!

~Sarah

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The Full Armor of God

>> Saturday, April 16, 2011


"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

--Ephesians 6:10-17


I've been reading Ephesians this week and was mulling over the "Armor of God" passage yesterday and today, and it's occurred to me that all of the armor of God is defensive except for one piece--the sword of the Spirit--which is a weapon. The Word of God is our one weapon. It is the only thing we are given to fight back against Satan.

Then I had an image of a person with all of the Armor of God except the sword of the Spirit, and it was a little comical! Imagine some stalwart soldier decked out in battle raiment with no weapon, sprinting and ducking hither and thither on the battlefield, or scrunched up behind a rock to hide because he cannot fight. Not only that, but he cannot even come to the aid of his comrades when they are in need. And when they see him in that state, how can they be anything but disheartened by his inability to help?

Or worse yet, picture this same soldier with the sword...on the ground. Or hanging limply in his hand. Lame! And yet how many of us, myself included, so often find ourselves without our only means to charge through and make progress in the battles within our hearts and in the lives of our brothers and sisters, simply because we won't take the Word of God purposefully into our hands? It's much easier to pick up a self-help book, or the TV remote, or the mouse, and put off the battle or go about the battle our own way, because there are so many other desirable things to do than pick up that heavy, inconvenient, time-consuming sword that will never fail to reflect back to us within the gleaming expanse between its razor-sharp edges, the all-too-often-less-desirable condition of our hearts.

The good news is that God is faithful even when we are not. We may have our times of fruitless scurrying on the battlefield, but the same Spirit from which we draw our sword will not abandon us to ourselves, as I am living proof. When God calls us into his family, he calls us into war. He has given us everything we need to fight, and fight well.

Blessings and comfort be on the families and friends of Chris Gordon and Betty Champaign, who this week completed their battles here on earth. We will miss their fighting by our side, but are confident that we will join them in the victory song as God enables us to stand firm until the end.


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing." 

--2 Timothy 4:7-8



Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
Forward into battle see His banners go!
 
Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.
At the sign of triumph Satan’s host doth flee;
On then, Christian soldiers, on to victory!
Hell’s foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
Brothers lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.

Like a mighty army moves the church of God;
Brothers, we are treading where the saints have trod.
We are not divided, all one body we,
One in hope and doctrine, one in charity.

What the saints established that I hold for true.
What the saints believèd, that I believe too.
Long as earth endureth, men the faith will hold,
Kingdoms, nations, empires, in destruction rolled.

Crowns and thrones may perish, kingdoms rise and wane,
But the church of Jesus constant will remain.
Gates of hell can never gainst that church prevail;
We have Christ’s own promise, and that cannot fail.

Onward then, ye people, join our happy throng,
Blend with ours your voices in the triumph song.
Glory, laud and honor unto Christ the King,
This through countless ages men and angels sing.



--Sa­bine Bar­ing-Gould

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Fridays a la Francais: Saturday, June 8, 2003

>> Friday, April 8, 2011



The best thing about today was that I got my camera back.

It's been a very long day. Today was La Fete de la Cabannes (Festival of the Cabanas), a gathering of local farmers, artists (both professional and amateur), and people from the town for the sake of getting together to have a good time under the pretext of making art by constructing creative looking "cabannes". There were probably 250 people there at any given time.

With vague and different versions of directions floating in my head, two and a half hours later I made it to the location. Unfortunately by the time I got there I only had a couple hours before a van came to pick us up, and I used that time to sketch the 30 heads assigned for my class, so I think I saw a couple of cabanas from afar. To top off the long walk, after I walked all the way up the steep dirt trail that accessed the festival, I realized I didn't have my camera with me! I prayed to God that it would be safe and promised I would put my info with it. So I ran back down to check the spots where I was sitting, and thanks be to God, a young man had picked it up for safe keeping and gave it to me! Oh the relief!

Up the hill I walked and eventually made it back home despite the fact that we had a flat tire and had to change it with funky European tools. On top of everything, to start the day as I was walking back home from the Echomarché, I dropped one of my bags, the only bag with a glass jar in it, and made a mess of my other groceries. When I got home, I realized that I had left my house keys in the bag I was going to take to the festival. To pass the time, I decided to pet the cat, which then decided to bite and scratch my hand. Oh la la, as the French would say. A nice lady from the flower shop offered me a bag to carry my soggy groceries and a rag to wipe my hands which was nice. It's just one of those Shel Silverstein days. Perhaps tonight I'll sit in the tub.

It was interesting watching people at the Fete. It was like I stepped back into the middle ages. The first sound I heard as I entered the grounds was a hand accordion being played. It was a very simple song but reminded me of those movies portraying those old European festivals that the poor townspeople had. There was a table that sold a variety of drinks. I got a great big bottle of water for only one euro! People were enjoying visiting one another. Couples were very lovey dovey. There is no myth or stereotype that the French are lovers. Children played half-naked in the stream, and it's sad to think that that would be an issue in America. People milled around the cabanas looking and enjoying a product of what it means to be French: to live well and full; full of love, family, art, good food and drink and the company of others to enjoy those things with. They also had barbecue pits and food stands, and dogs a-runnin' rampant and free to bark at whatever.

On my way back, I rode with a nice girl named Yelena who is from a country that used to be the former Yugoslavia. She is one of the Pont-Aven School of Art interns and is here for one year on a grant that lets her make art and have her own studio to paint. I wonder what it would be like to live a whole year in Pont-Aven?

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The Great Experiment, Day 1

>> Tuesday, April 5, 2011



I love a clean kitchen. Which is why I'm very scared for mine. You see, I've been suspecting for some time that I've been tending to it too much, and one may not guess that for at least a couple days out of the week when my constant vigilance isn't exactly apparent, but for having two kids under the age of 2, it may as well be presented on a silver platter to the Queen of England. But it's occurred to me that I just care too much about it, which has bumped down the importance of other things more worthy of my attention, like kids. Oh, not that I don't spend ample time with them, but that my attitude while with them is house-bent instead of home-bent.

Which brings me to The Great Experiment that I have begun today. I have been in burn-out mode for who knows how long, partly because the Lord's Day has not been a day of rest for me. Rather, it's been a catch-up for whatever I couldn't get to during the week, with my motivation being that I want everything "ready to go" by Monday morning. But now that I have children (I still can't believe I can use the plural word), I'm especially aware that I am teaching them how to live by my example, which is enough to scare me into better habits, and quick, God help me. Which led me to consider my priorities, or rather, led me to consider what I would want their priorities to be, not only to keep the Sabbath holy, but to go about the other six days of the week so that the Sabbath remains holy.

Well, the diagnostic was painful, the diagnosis isn't pretty, and the treatment is downright frightening, because it involves the possibility that my kitchen, and the rest of my house, may burst into flames for neglect, and requires me putting more faith in God that He will bless my mindset more than my elbow grease.

So like I said, today was Day One of this experiment in faith. That is, To not only shuffle my priorities into something that looks different than a Molly Maid employee's, but to have it be altogether disposable when that is what's needed.

Today's Highlights

  • I read a Bible verse this morning and even remembered the gist of it later in the day (Found in Ephesians 5, about making the most of your time and making a point to understanding the Lord's will--very apropos).
 
  • I got my toddler, Gwen, up from her nap time only to find her covered in poo. I wasn't planning on disinfecting her and her room today, so it was a good thing I had already allowed my schedule to let s*** happen.

  • So because of the above highlight, instead of reacting to my disobedient (how many times do I have to tell her not to put her hand down her diaper?!), trouble-making child, I reacted to my poor hasn't-had-a-nap-in-two-days baby girl. And my two-month-old, Caden, took an extra long nap, allowing me to take care of business. God must have known.
 
  • My poor hasn't-had-a-nap-in-two-days baby girl had been on the verge of meltdown since breakfast, but instead of extra punishments, there were extra hugs and extra time outside. Instead of me cleaning up the living room in 3 minutes flat, we spent 20 minutes together while we found things to put away and made it peaceful to be in once more. We lit a yummy smelling cinnamon candle, and after dinner we danced to some happy rock music. Right before I put her to bed an hour early.

  •  I got half of a thank-you note written.
 
  • I watched an episode of The Office with Caden and laughed.

  • I did not clean the kitchen. It is starting to smolder. And I think I'm ok with that.

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Work for the Weary

>> Sunday, October 31, 2010

I wrote this stream-of-conscious musing about Heaven a few months ago and just found it again while doing some much needed cleaning in my office. I re-read it and decided I liked it, so I'm posting it here to paper into the universe.


It will be a delightful surprise, a welcome relief, the fulfillment of our heart's quest for purpose, when the Lord sets us to work in Heaven. In it, we will be perfecting upon perfection yet ever learning; constantly amazed and tickled about our daily discoveries and accomplishments; baffled at how much more we resemble Christ than the day before. Yet the bafflements of yesterday are resolved in the understanding gained today. Thus continues the blessed cycle of ever-comprehending, ever-wondering, ever-perfecting and aspiring to God's unattainable glory; ever-joyful in the work set out for us. Our faith will be sight, yet contained in a single mustard seed within the heart of a wide-eyed, trusting child. True faith need not a larger accommodation. True faith is that simple and pure.


"...God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen..." 1 Corinthians 1:27-28



Thinking more about it, especially as I re-write this here on Sunday, i.e. the Sabbath, i.e. the "day of rest", which is only a foreshadow of the rest we'll enter into in Heaven, I thought it ironic how we'll be anything but resting "up there." No, the rest will be from our fallen, sinful selves in a fallen, sinful world. Ahh, now that I wouldn't mind kicking my feet up from for all eternity.

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